why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize