One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
