can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
