"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
