yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the day after is always just damage control
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
