I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
