i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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