Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
