Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
