Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
