i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i love accidental penises.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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