on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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