went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My life is pants optional.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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