Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
