He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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