Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
