I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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