you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
