This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Randomize
