he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize