a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
