Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
