if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
