How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
