im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i believe in u and ur pee
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
