she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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