well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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