My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They have beer where we have blood.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
