You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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