# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
