I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
