that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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