Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
