When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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