We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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