I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
