The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
