Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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