you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
