theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
