I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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