so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
