If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
