At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
