Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
