You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
