If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
