You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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