Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
