Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
