Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
