So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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