Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
