I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
