theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
