Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
