There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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