Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
