dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
