I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
