Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
