I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
